You've Turn My World Upside Down

I was on the train, on the way to church, listening to my mp3 as usual. I've been listening to this album, "Upside Down" by CFNI. Love the album, esp the 3rd song. But it's only today that I realised what the song was really about. I guess it did occur in my mind before, but it only hit me fully today.

A line of the chorus goes "all of me, all for You". I love this part, yes, but do I really give all of me for Him? All of my time and my thoughts? My mind has been filled with lots of things recently, all jumbled up and messed up. I guess it showed on my face earlier today somehow, otherwise he wouldn't have insistently asked what was wrong. I really don't know actually. So I threw up some theories I had about what I was possible not my usual self. Perhaps it's everything all together. Furthermore, is my life "spinning 'round (Him) now"? Woah I love this line, but how do I get my life to spin around Him?

The verse goes, "I give it all away to You. I wanna say I'll go Your way...".
I really want to try giving up everything to Him, all my cares, uncertainties, to Him. I'm figuring out how to do that, and learning to give up planning my life. Like, how do I go His way?

As I was listening, He brought to mind a situation I was in about 3 years ago, which brought about a lot of complications and hurts to people directly and indirectly involved. Before the church camp, God had been telling me about the need to close the case well before I can move on. And through some dreams I saw myself talking with them normally as friends. During the camp, God told me that I needed to reconcile. I was like, how am I supposed to reconcile? Go up and say 'Hi' I want to reconcile? That would be weird. Anyway the Sunday after the camp I bumped into the gal and we talked abit about how we were doing. It was good. Can just feel the awkwardness fading and bad feelings absent. Today, just a week later, I saw them together and waved 'Hi' at them. Yae I'm improving! Hehh... Well I can see that God is planning something up ahead...and it's exciting.

Anyway, during this time of reflection on the train, I realised a concept that helps me look at relationships from a different perspective. On the subject of bgr, assuming that you believe that God has planned and prepared someone who is most suitable as your companion in your walk with God for the rest of your life, then everyone will also have someone who is their most suitable companion in their walk with God. So I was thinking, if I looked at things this way, and if God has planned for them to walk together in their journey to know God more, then why should I be upset still? I was probably the one getting in the way when my role in the story was to allow them to get to know each other. Quite a number of years have passed already and I have been all upset for relationship I did not want anyway, and a friendship I actually want to mend.

This song describes how I feel about my thoughts. They have certainly been turned upside down, giving me a new perspective. I've not yet processed all this fully, but in time I will.

I'm ready to move on *smilez*.

________________

Living For You


This is the day, the hour, the time

I give it all away to You

I wanna say I'll go Your way,

Living my life for something real.

I can't survive, I can't go on,

If I'm without You by my side.

I wanna spend eternity with You.



You've turned my world upside down,

My life is spinning 'round You now.

All of me, all for You.

I'll let my light shine for You.

Nothing's gonna stop me now,

I'm living for You.